Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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