Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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