Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
