oh god the rape fog is back!
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look better un-naked...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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