I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
