Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
