Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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