I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
