my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just found puke in my bra..
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
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