I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
