Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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