i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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