thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
