I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize