Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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