pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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