ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
