i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
