Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
