i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
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