i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
