he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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