I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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