I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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