Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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