??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
