it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize