yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Randomize
