I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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