Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
