you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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