WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
