Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
