All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You can't motorboat a personality
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
