if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
