So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
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I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
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Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
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