Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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