She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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