I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
