i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
