I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
wakey wakey hands off snakey
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She announced her abortion via fbk
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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