I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
