Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
