You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
