I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
