Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
i've created a new STD.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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