What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
