How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
