kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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