I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
