How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
