okay pat passed out under dana's car
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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