Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Dick very happy bro
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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