we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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