im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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