Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Randomize
