Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
