eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
