just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
