I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Houston, we have a blender
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Randomize
