i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
