im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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