Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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