I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
