how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
soo... how was my night?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
