So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
oh god the rape fog is back!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
