Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You're like the curious george of whores
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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