I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize