Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize