i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
