Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
