I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
