I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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